My daughters, husband and I have been living with my two aunts, uncle and three cousins for about one year now. We were basically shut off from all of our friends because my aunts felt all of my friends were bad influences and drug dealers so they couldn't visit and since I had no vehicle to call my own and use at will, I never got to see my friends and therefore rarely got a reprieve from the insane ruling over my life by my aunts. It made for me and my husband and our girls to be cranky, moody, uneasy and dying to get away from it all at whatever cost I could afford.
Abruptly after an argument with my eldest and forever single aunt, DM we'll call her, I received a message from my youngest and married with two of her own children and one adopted daughter whom they were basically given by my only uncle on my mother's side, their own brother when she was still a baby, aunt whom we shall call AJ.
In this message I had been informed that I was a "lying and selfish little bitch" who was leaving her mother in her time of need (my mom is having total left hip replacement and I'm moving my family up to the Sheboygan area right around the beginning of April for both things). I was an unfit parent who could barely bathe, clean up after, feed or take care of my two daughters and should just let my aunts take them now so I don't fuck things up and get them taken away from me....
I have no history of this kind of negligence in any sense....this is entirely made up bullshit by DM just to get a rise out of me and my aunt AJ and therefore cause enough strife for me to be forcibly evicted from my home.
All of this began because my aunts asked if I had a place to move to and I informed them that my husband's parents had bought a home they were willing to rent out to us because in the last 18 months I was evicted, forced to live with my aunts, moved out of there and got all excited about moving back to Sheboygan, only to have my friend whom we moved to help out, bleed us dry of our entire savings which forced us to move back in with my aunts and wait for my husband's tax returns again because obviously my best friend had no intention of ever repaying us.
They were furious that I could not provide an address to said home. I was told I was a terrible parent for telling my children that we had a home to move into but it wasn't "real" yet and I was getting their hopes up and hurting them.
In the end, they "packed up" all of our belongings from our room the four of us shared in their basement into plastic garbage bags with no sense of organization or respect for our belongings. I had received one bag with nothing but glass objects all thrown into the bottom of the bag and then a collection of my books and other heavy things were put on top.
I have most of my belongings in a storage unit. I'm being told by my own family, my own blood, that I have a responsibility to take care of my disabled mother and be there for her every need now that she's having hip replacement surgery. This includes paying her back rent so she doesn't get evicted and affording whatever other things she may need be it food or whatever. I have to pay to have her bathroom redone, despite her having more than an adequate amount of money to do so on her own last December but instead of taking care of her bills she decided to go on a shopping spree for needless materialistic items. She also let my autistic sister go on an insane Yule shopping spree for my daughters and literally, spoil them to pieces with trinkets and other meaningless crap.
I can't do it. I won't do it. I can't sacrifice my entire family, the daughters I made with the husband I will always love just so my mom doesn't have to figure out how to budget her money right. Just so my aunt doesn't have to pay a little extra to take care of her nearly 12 year older sister who took care of her and her other younger sisters in a motherly way as soon as she was capable of it because her own mother, my grandmother, didn't want to have to "deal" with her children.
My mother was a live in caretaker and babysitter to her younger siblings from the time she was eight to the time she finally moved out of the house at 22 years old.
Explain to me how any of those women could possibly think it is my sole responsibility to care for my mother when I'm still trying to get a consistent life down for my OWN family?!
Why do they think that they have no reason for inputting any financial interest in taking care of their elderly and disabled sister? My mother has loved and cared for her sisters for years and suffered their terrible treatment and abuse for years....before she finally moved out and started her own life.
I have found....I have a need to do the same. With a heavy heart I must admit, I haven't spoken to my mother in nearly four days.....
this is very unusual and hurts me to say. But what pain should I suffer? Which pain is worse? That of my daughters not being raised in a stable home environment? Or allowing my blood relatives to hate me and use me as their negative scapegoat for all their worries and woes because I moved my family one hour away to a stable environment and life?
I can be hated......but seeing my girls and husband this happy makes me see the silver lining of this entire experience.
Freedom. Freedom to live. To flourish and to thrive.
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